Fear
by desperatelydevoted
Summary: Even heroes get uneasy. A collection of short drabbles each inspired by a phobia. Each chapter will be a different character
1. Aphenphosmphobia

**AN:** These chapters are all something of a brief character study and will all take place during season one. Massive shout out to UglyGreenJacket and FloraOne the most supportive and sweet friends a girl could have. I've only just met you both and you've managed to inspire courage into my little heart. Thank you so, so much.

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 **Aphenphosmphobia: The fear of touching or being touched**

The girl laying on his bed was nothing short of a goddess. The princess in his dreams couldn't begin to hold a candle to the radiance that was Tsukino Usagi. She looked like an angel and her heart was made of something purer than the silver light of the moon.

His apartment was so dull and grey and there she was, a vision of brilliant color that outshined the sea of gloom. Golden hair was laying around her and covering his blankets, her school uniform of white, blue, and red giving her a look of innocence he felt guilty for enjoying.

He knew immediately that he didn't deserve her.

With his top hat and mask were discarded on the table and his tuxedo jacket was shrugged off and draped over a chair, Chiba Mamoru wanted nothing more than to watch this elegant angel rest and regain the strength she'd poured out into the world only an hour prior.

He longed to touch her. He wanted to brush his fingers through her hair and trace the gentle line of her jaw. His arms ached to cradle her as his lips brushed her ear to assure her that all her fears could rest and that she could depend on him to catch her should she ever fall again.

They barely even knew each other. The thought that he could be so smitten was distressing to say the least.

Sailor Moon was laying in his home, vulnerable and yet so peaceful. It made his heart tremble and for the safety of the both of them he placed himself across the room where he could watch her sleep without invading her space. It wasn't as though he'd manage even a second of sleep with her here.

Her warmth permeated through his apartment and for the first time since he moved in it felt like home. It was like the completion he felt all those nights ago when he stole a kiss from her sleeping lips.

Tonight had been eventful. When he arrived at her side she was full of so much doubt. It pained him that she didn't trust him, but more than that, it baffled him that she didn't believe in herself. His words weren't much, but in that moment they had been enough, and that was more than he could have ever hoped for.

He wasn't so foolish that he missed the look in her eyes before she transformed there before him. He swore those endless blue oceans would drown him if he dare swim in them longer than a few seconds at a time. Without speaking a single word, he could feel the weight of her emotions each and every time they locked eyes.

It was a frightening thought that his attraction to her wasn't one sided. In the whole of his life he couldn't remember a time he felt as loved as he did each and every time she graced him with a thankful smile. While in her mind she seemed to perceive that he was coming into these battles to save her, the truth of the matter was that with each passing day she was saving him from the hopelessness of his own self doubt.

Nobody had ever looked at him the way she did. His very existence seemed to mystify and delight her and any time she found herself in his hold they were both acutely aware of everything and nothing all at once.

Watching from the doorway, his eyes could adore her from a comfortable distance. Here they lingered, sharing the same space, breathing the same air, but his sense of reason kept him from moving any closer. He couldn't predict how she would handle waking up here, or how she would process the knowledge that Tuxedo Kamen and Chiba Mamoru were the very same.

The fear of rejection was heavily outweighed by the fear of acceptance.

Tsukino Usagi was beyond his grasp in every way. Too beautiful, too strong, too **real** to ever want the walking mess of a man he was. The only love Mamoru was familiar with was the love that was thrown around this girl like rays of light were thrown from the sun. He could bask in it, he could take it in, and let it soak into his very soul. But he couldn't create it for himself.

A solitary person who wasn't familiar with intimacy wasn't the person for a girl who deserved only the most loving and sincere affections. She was surrounded by friends who could love her and cherish her like the precious and rare gem she was.

For years he'd searched for the Silver Crystal, but that night at Osa-P's he knew instantly that he'd found something of infinitely more worth that shone brighter than any crystal could.

His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed heavily, a single step taken forward as the temptation to near her was too much for him to properly resist. It was only a few strides more before he loomed above her, his shadow casting along her features while she continued to sleep so soundly.

Fingers were shaky as they extended, hovering centimeters from her cheek. He'd touched her before, his lips had even met hers, but as this situation dawned on him in full he feared what one more touch might do. With each one he had become more and more enraptured in her.

"Tuxedo Kamen..." Cooing in her sleep, this beautiful woman had no idea the effect she had on him.

The pad of his thumb touched her cheekbone, stroking slowly as he dipped downwards. Lips brushed tenderly to her forehead and he felt in the moment the thing he feared he would.

Taking in her scent and lingering near, Chiba Mamoru felt complete at last.

"Sleep well, Usako." The nickname was new on his lips, but he knew already that it was something he'd cherish for the rest of his life.


	2. Athazagoraphobia

**AN:** Thank you everyone for your support! It means a lot to hear feedback and ideas and gives me the drive to write more. I already have all the chapters drafted out and two more of them written and just needing some editing and tweaking before they're posted. Please enjoy this update and let me know your thoughts!

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 **Athazagoraphobia: The fear of forgetting or being forgotten**

Blue eyes watched closely. Though there were no tears threatening to spill beyond the edges, it would be wrong to state that sadness wasn't clearly etched into those irises.

She watched in silence as they moved on the streets, surveying them so that she might be able to deduce the proper time to make herself known. As the leader, it was her burden to put tactical advantage over her own wants and desires.

Slowly, it was starting to kill her inside.

There they were, only a few feet in the distance and yet so impossibly far away. She knew better than to approach them, she knew that no matter how excited she was to see them, they had no idea who she was. It was a stab to her heart that her fellow soldiers didn't remember her, but knowing that her princess didn't think of her at all was what really drove that metaphorical blade to run her through.

A partition rested between them. It was invisible, but with each passing second it became more palpable. The flavor was more bitter than she had ever imagined.

Despite all odds, the others had found each other and they had been awakened each in their own time. But what about her? She had been the last senshi to fall and the first to taste the breath of new life. The deep desire to protect her princess couldn't be suppressed long, that must have been a fact that Queen Serenity had counted upon when she sent them to live a new life.

Venus would tear the universe asunder if it meant knowing her beloved princess was happy and safe.

It was always to be that she would awaken, even before any youma emerged, even before Tokyo was in danger, and even if no danger was born at all. The soul of a mighty general couldn't be trapped.

" _You'll never leave me, right?" Slender fingers are tangled between her own as a radiant girl spoils her with her smile. "I don't think I could manage all these awful meetings with you, Venus."_

" _Seren, I'd never even dream of leaving." A coy smile pulls over her glossy lips. "If I didn't go to these meetings then I'd have nothing to laugh at in my idle time. These ambassadors are idiots."_

 _The petite princess playfully shoves her, laughing brightly and shaking her head._

With a bittersweet smile, she watched the four girls hug and say their goodbyes. Though she knew their new names, their faces still pulled older names to her lips. Mercury had been her tactical genius and a source of tranquility. Mars was the fierce and passionate one who never hesitated to keep them all in line, even Venus herself. Jupiter stood at the front lines, protecting them all with her sheer strength and will. Serenity was a vision of love and purity, so soft and sweet but with a wild heart that couldn't be reeled in.

Venus didn't need to be ordered to love and protect these women. She _wanted_ to.

Serenity- No, **Usagi** was the last girl standing in an empty park, still waving boisterously to the others as they faded from her view. Even now, without even looking at her, this princess could make a smile find her Senshi's lips.

If only that smile could survive what came next.

A man rounded the corner, a man whose face she'd hated to look at for an entire life she'd already lost. It wasn't Endymion's fault she disliked him, or at least, not entirely his fault.

" _I love her, Venus. You have to understand. I would give my life if it meant making her happy."_

" _No._ _ **I**_ _love her. I clearly love her much more than you if you're so blind that you can't see the impact of those words." Livid, the golden haired guardian glares with a might incomprehensible. "If you were to die, it would ruin her. Don't you ever stop to think of the consequences of your actions? It's more than_ _ **your**_ _life you're gambling. It's more than_ _ **your**_ _kingdom you're gambling. You could ruin everything."_

 _Endymion regards her slowly and then offers a smile that freezes the goddess of love where she stands._

" _I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Venus. But I'm not asking for your permission either."_

Every part of her screamed everytime Chiba Mamoru wrapped his arms around Tsukino Usagi, a relationship had formed between the two, one that was hidden away like a secret from the other Senshi, one that Minako feared would cause a repeat in history.

This doesn't end well and her mind demands that she intervene, but she knows it won't do anything. No matter how she thrashes against it and no matter how so silently prays to the moon, she isn't foolish enough to think that their affections for each other are going to fade.

It's envy that makes her this way.

Not a single memory of the past drifts through Usagi's mind and yet she finds herself back in the arms of the prince who failed her while her general stands beside a tree and is forgotten entirely. Perhaps it's more than Usagi's lost memories that eat at her.

" _Queen Serenity is a wise woman to put such a fierce warrior at her daughter's side. You're an admirable force, Venus." His voice is deep and rich like some kind of dessert she knows better than to indulge in._

" _You're offering me that compliment as if I'm not doing what any other would do in my situation." Unimpressed, the woman rolled her eyes. This snow haired general wasn't going to dazzle her that easily. "I don't think your prince will share the same appreciation for me when I tell him, with my sword unsheathed if necessary, that he needs to keep his distance from my princess."_

 _His laugh was hearty and much to the woman's shock, his gloved hand rose to brush some golden strands from her cheek._

" _I offer you praise because you're here to do_ _ **exactly**_ _what I would. In all the galaxy, I've never seen a demotion quite like yours. It's the most radiant thing about you."_

She had let her bias get the best of her, let her own love cloud her tactical reasoning. The cruel irony wasn't lost on her that even _he_ didn't remember her. She'd yet to meet him on the battlefield once more, but she didn't want to entertain how much it would hurt when she did.

Her skin crawled and she shrunk back, turning sharply on her heels away from the sight of her princess and the prince she hadn't successfully chased away. Maybe they all were better off without the memories of those times. It terrified Minako to think of how happy they were without her.

Perhaps this rift between them was her punishment for failing her in their last life.

"The time will come, Minako. It's sooner approaching than you might think." Artemis's voice rose from beside her and cut off her thoughts before they could drift too far.

"I know…"

Memories were a weight she didn't want to hold any longer, but deep down, she knew she'd never escape them. Her only wish was that when these memories came flooding back to her friends that the emptiness she'd been fighting for months would finally be gone.

She wanted to be remembered at last and she begged the universe with all her might that she might never be forgotten again.


End file.
